Conflict Resolution Skills enable us to work through conflict and find solutions to it. When we teach these skills, we enable pupils to be more confident, empathetic and resilient. My book, The 7 Principles of Conflict Resolution, sets out a simple but comprehensive approach to conflict which is as effective for young people as it is for adults. This approach can be summarised as follows:
1. Acknowledge the conflict:
Firstly, it is crucial to teach that conflict is normal and occurs often. It helps to acknowledge conflict in this way by asking pupils:
- How would you define a conflict situation?
- How does being in conflict situations make you feel?
- Where have you seen good come out of conflict situations?
The terror attacks of 2017 happened while I was delivering a Peer Coaching Course to a group of Muslim girls. When I asked them “What is Conflict” they didn’t respond, so I asked them “what about the London Bridge attacks?” This enabled them to start talking about the issues honestly.
One pupil talked about political injustices. Another talked about her fears for her mum who wore a headscarf. Then they talked about an incident where she had gone play football. They said another group of kids had said that their group couldn’t play on the pitch because they were Muslim and these kids threatened to attack them if they tried. My pupils then chose to work through the situation over the course of the next weeks. The result was they found a way to play together without direct adult intervention.
Talking about your own experience also demonstrates that conflict is not something to be ashamed of. If you refer to Malala’s story (Malala Yousafzai, Nobel Peace Prize winner 2014), for example, you may inspire students to realise that overcoming the effects of conflict can change lives.
2. Take control of your response
Explaining that we have preferred responses to situations but we can choose other responses depending on the situation is a great starting point. Pupils can then think about whether their responses are helping them and whether they want to choose to respond differently.