Building And Supporting Mental And Emotional Wellbeing – Skills For Life

Millions of young people across the UK were hit hard by the pandemic with leading mental health charities reporting heightened levels of anxiety and depression. Mental ill-health was triggered by the uncertainties surrounding Covid19 and lockdown, social isolation and the fracturing of friendship groups, the accentuation of peer comparison and perfectionism driven by an over reliance on social media, and an increase in ‘catastrophising’ and ‘fortune-telling’.

While we take time to recover, a focus on wellbeing is more important than ever. Although life is returning to a more recognisable normal, without support and advice, the resulting patterns of anxiety and isolation may continue.

Anxiety is multifaceted with many triggers – internal anxiety surrounding self-image, exacerbated by the pressure social media exerts on young people, can manifest in a constant and exhausting over-comparison to peers, destroying confidence and resulting in eating disorders or other types of self-harm.

Social media’s ‘perfect, rose tinted’ version of reality is an unattainable goal and we need to dispel the illusion of ‘perfection’ – it is like trying to compete in a never-ending marathon that is mentally exhausting and extremely damaging to young people’s self-image and self-esteem. Judging themselves and their success on the number of ‘likes’ or ‘followers’ creates a false perception of what really matters, and this reliance on how others view them can have crushing effects on individuals.

External factors also create anxiety – for example the changes to exams – which have always been an assured academic process – part of every student’s academic career – were unexpectedly disrupted from the norm, creating uncertainty about what to expect in the future.

Isolation can also heighten these feelings. When school was closed, the daily routine and the support students naturally receive from peers, the chat and the reassurance that comes through conversations with friends, was suddenly removed. Some of the students on the periphery of friendship groups without close bonds to others, who had previously been swept along with whatever everyone was doing, found themselves isolated and feeling neglected.

Increased anxiety and uncertainty can lead to catastrophising and fortune-telling, which create yet more stress and anxiety. Catastrophising means a person always anticipating the worst scenario imaginable, viewing situations as worse than they actually are. It develops quickly and involves both memory and imagination, young people can become immersed in their predictions, and really feel as though they are living through the experience.

For example, failing a test will mean they are on to an inescapable downward path, they will fail at school, proving they are incompetent and unable to have a career in the future. When in fact it’s just a test that can be retaken after they have received some support and further study.

‘Fortune-telling’ creates similar unfounded negative thoughts and feelings – predicting the future by jumping to conclusions, not taking time to think things through and assuming the worst and expecting a negative outcome – for example predicting how someone will react or think, or how they will feel about a situation.

Both catastrophising and fortune-telling create negative thoughts and bleak expectations for the future, leading to feelings of helplessness or depression. They can also antagonise pre-existing conditions such as OCD.

When young people experience struggles with their mental health, many expect there to be an immediate solution – after all they live in a world where everything is instant – from communication to coffee – there’s no need to wait, and the more privileged you are, the greater the access. The realisation that there is no ‘quick fix’ with many mental health issues, can in itself add to their anxiety. That is why it is so important to create a culture of individual wellbeing.

At Heathfield we want to equip our students with the skills and tools to recognise and respond to situations and issues that may challenge their mental health. To help ensure our students are mentally fit and healthy we use a proactive approach based on positive psychology and positive education. The programme, ‘Flourishing in Schools’ by People Diagnostix, Perth, Australia, is research based and developed specifically for secondary schools. It is based on the understanding and development of ‘pillars’ of good mental health, making abstract ideas about psychology accessible to the students (and staff). The pillars are based on the PERMAH model – positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, accomplishment and health.

The platform uses psychometric surveys to highlight areas where individuals are flourishing and areas that need further support and development. The students then set their own goals to focus on those areas and track their progress over time. The holistic approach to wellbeing, includes nutrition and exercise as well as self-reflection, and allows the students to cultivate the best feeling, be their best selves and be intrinsically motivated.

With wellbeing a priority, we have a broad support network across the school. All staff have initial mental health training so they can recognise if a student is struggling. The pastoral team includes an on-site life coach, a visiting confidential counsellor and peer mentoring. We also have an online helpline – sometimes walking through a door and having a conversation ‘eye-to-eye’ is daunting, the helpline means they can express their struggles and get support without the initial need for a face to face meeting.

As teachers or parents we don’t like seeing our students or children feeling sad, however if we constantly try and instantly ‘fix’ things for them, we are taking away the chance for them to develop coping strategies. Actually, we are doing them a dis-service because at some point we won’t be there to fix things – by providing direction and tools for them to work through the problem, they will be better informed and more experienced. So rather than rush in, we give them time and listen.

The majority of the students are very open about how they are feeling, and as they are surrounded with support they can find what suits them best and talk to the person they feel most at ease with. We help them identify the problem, accept how they are feeling – whether positive or negative emotions – and address that feeling. We encourage them to be in the moment, in the ‘now’, taking one step at a time rather than constantly thinking ahead and jumping to conclusions.

If a student has had a go at implementing an approach and it isn’t working, then we think it through again together and try another way. We encourage the students not to share their worries with several adults and create a ‘round robin’ that will hinder progress, if they approach us we simply ask them, ‘Who have you spoken to so far?’ What has been suggested?’ and ‘How are you getting on with that?’

Building resilience and grit, and helping our students gain insight into the way they think and feel, provides them with the tools to cope with the present situation and increase their knowledge and understanding of ways to deal with challenges in the future.

Relationships are key at Heathfield and there is a real feeling of ‘sisterhood’ amongst the students. Peer mentoring is very successful here and provides the opportunity for students to share their experiences with someone who has ‘been through it too’ – not just a theorist like the teachers or counsellor, but someone they can connect with through shared experience.

In cases of catastrophising and fortune telling, the students can see our life coach who is also a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner. NLP approaches are very successful in addressing these issues and can lead to a rapid change in direction and motivation. The coach helps them alter their mindset and reframe the anxiety they are fixating on.

When dealing with these issues we also ask the students to take a break from social media. This makes their world a smaller ‘real’ place to rebuild confidence in their self-image, rather than relying on the comments of others, and engage in real friendships rather than judging their worth by the number of ‘likes’ or ‘followers’.

Daily physical activity is used to aid wellbeing – whether that’s yoga, a workout session, mindfulness or sports which are extremely effective at producing those important ‘feel good’ endorphins.

We teach grounding techniques that the students can use if they are feeling distressed or experiencing negative or challenging emotions. Once they recognise that they are in a state of ‘flight or fight’, the techniques bring them into the present moment by refocusing on where they are, what they can see, what they can hear and what they can feel, creating space from their feelings of distress.

Students can also walk in the school grounds with one of our many school dogs. This is often a good option before counselling or life coaching sessions, so that students start the session from a calm place, after a good walk and conversation with a four legged friend. The physical act of walking is ‘moving forward’ rather than sitting being ‘stagnant’, and the students are more willing to get on board with new concepts and suggestions being introduced.

At Heathfield we place a great emphasis on praising ‘effort’ rather than focusing solely on ‘results’. Having the grit and resilience to overcome challenges and find solutions to problems along their learning journey is far more important. Success is individual and based on achieving personal goals with patience and hard work.

Wellbeing and being mentally healthy are equally if not more important than short term academic success. Day to day, research shows that wellbeing improves academic performance, behaviour, social interaction and satisfaction, in the long term it provides advantages in all areas of life – health, relationships and careers – which is what we wish for all our students at Heathfield.